The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
