The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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