I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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