it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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