Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
