C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
