why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
