hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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