Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize