I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
