thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
