Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
