I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
