It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
