like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
