My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
