you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize