Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Randomize
