she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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