If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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