i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize