You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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