my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
