My hair reeks of homosexuality.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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