what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
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