I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
