He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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