Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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