i jhust puked up my retainher.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
