my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
