and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish I could punch you in the face.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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