no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
