I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
