we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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