I cockslap morals
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
