we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
