Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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