at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
