You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
