Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
