ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
