Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
