): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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