Porn is love you can see.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
