Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
