i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
