She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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