We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
false alarm. still invincible.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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