we're blogging at a bar
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize