I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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