sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just invented taco cereal.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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