....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
the raccoons are back...
I'm really busy with my period
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