He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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