can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
