As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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