I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
